Four Functions of Behavior (Part 2/4)

Do you ever see someone doing something odd and wonder, “why in the hell are they doing that?”  Well, according to behaviorists, it’s for one of four possible reasons. In fact, ALL human behavior is possibly broken down into one of four possible reasons.  An easy acronym to remember them by is “everybody EATS.” E is for escape, A is for attention, T is for tangibles, and S is for sensory. I’ll go over each on in a separate blog post so it doesn’t become too overwhelming, but I highly suggest reading all four posts.

The second behavior we’re going to talk about is attention motivated behaviors.  For someone with attention seeking behaviors, their mantra is “this is NO such thing as bad press.” These are your class clowns AND your brown nosers. They are both trying to seek attention, whether that attention is “good” or “bad” is irrelevant.  The sheer fact is that they are doing it in order to know that someone is paying attention to them and therefore they are relevant.

It’s always nice to have the people who want the positive attention.  I did this nice thing for you, so you will notice me. If I like that nice thing, I should give that person a LOT of attention and positive reinforcement, so they will continue to do that nice thing.  Everyone is happy.

Now, the problem is those who do things we don’t like in order to gain attention.  What do we do about those jerks?  

Let’s go back to my example of screaming.  Remember, any behavior can serve any function, so you have to think to yourself “why might this person be doing this thing in this moment?”  So because it’s easier to think of small children engaging in inappropriate behavior, let’s say you are trying to get some work done on you laptop, and your darling pumpkin is screaming in the other room.  You have no idea why. They have their iPad, it’s playing their favorite show, they just ate lunch and they have water, so there’s no way they are hungry or thirsty. They just used the restroom. Finally you decide to get up and walk over to the other room to see why they’re screaming.  As soon as you enter the room, they stop. You look around, look at them, ask them if everything is alright. “Yes, mommy, I’m fine.” And you hesitantly go back to your business.  

A less Machiavellian way to do it is to help them develop an appropriate, alternative behavior.  This is my preferred route. So instead of simply screaming for my attention, I’ve trained my children to come up to me and rather than interrupt me or scream over another person that may be talking, they put their hand on my arm, and I in turn put my hand on top of their’s to let them know I know they want my attention.  As soon as I’m done doing what I’m doing, I say, “thank you for waiting, what do you need?” Then I’m no longer having to extinguish the behavior of screaming/interrupting, but I’m able to reinforce what I really want – quietly waiting until I’m ready to give them my full and undivided attention (which is also what THEY really want – win, win!).

The screaming resumes.  You let it go on for about a minute or so, then you go to check again.  As soon as you reappear, they stop screaming. 

This is attention seeking behavior. They simply want to know that the have your attention, and as long as you continue to provide them with attention whether that is with words or your physical presence, they will maintain this behavior.

Well, great.  But what happens if he really needs me and that’s why he’s screaming?

Think of the Boy Who Cried Wolf.  That is a classic example of attention seeking behavior.  Eventually the towns people ignore the boy, and it (literally) bites him in the end.  If you ignore the behavior, the child will learn the same lesson. Screaming does not get you what you want.

When do you notice yourself or your loved ones engaging in maladaptive attention seeking behavior?  Can you think of another more appropriate way to express your needs? If you have any questions about attention motivated behavior, please let me know!  Next post will be about tangibles (i.e. the classic temper tantrum of “I want that thing and I want it NOW!”).